Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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