He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
birth control should be required to get into college
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
