that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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