i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
