oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
