My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
cat food counts as protein by the way
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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