Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
either way he was missing a nipple.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
