I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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