Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
