So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
