There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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