Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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