Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just puked most of my soul out..
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
