dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
even my farts smell like vagina
Dignity is for republicans.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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