id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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