Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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