Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
