So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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