just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
What a dumb baby whore.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
