I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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