i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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