I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
