We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
