It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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