Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
