Duck Duck Cougar?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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