Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
