hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
