i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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