Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
