Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
