Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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