oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
