grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
