Yo dont text me then not text me
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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