I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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