This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
