alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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