just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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