R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
