So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
