it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
