That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Actions speak louder than pants.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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