The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
