I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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