like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
