He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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