I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
