are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you inspire me to be a worse person
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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