After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Someone signed my nipple.
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