So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
