Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
one might say we're banned from that church
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
