her vagine was all disorganized.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
