watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize