are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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