Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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