lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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