In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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