Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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