Whod you bang
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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