does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize