Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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