yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize