she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize