Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
