Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
