yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
