We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize