PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
