Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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