the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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