THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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